Brilliant Ideas

#35: How to Escape the Superhero Mom Trap with Gillian Gabryluk

• Alyssa Bellisario • Season 1 • Episode 35

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What if burnout isn’t about doing too much, but about doing too much of the wrong things?

In this episode, I sit down with Gillian Gabryluk, health coach and founder of Sileo Coaching, to talk about what she calls a “nervous system crash” and how it forced her to rethink everything about how she was living, working, and showing up for her family.

Gillian shares how ambitious women often fall into the trap of trying to “do it all”, only to end up in survival mode, constantly juggling competing priorities without ever feeling effective. She breaks down her time budget exercise, a practical framework for mapping your day in 30-minute blocks so you can align your schedule with your true values instead of societal expectations.

You’ll learn:

  • Why burnout is often a sign of misalignment, not overwork
  • How to identify your real values and design your day around them
  • The “gray area” trap and why clear boundaries boost focus and peace
  • Why stillness is the foundation of intentional living

Whether you’re a parent, entrepreneur, or simply feeling stretched too thin, this episode will show you how to create more space, presence, and freedom in your life and business.

It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving. Tune in now and learn how to build a schedule — and a life — that actually breathes.

Connect with Gillian:

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Fog to Freedom: Guided Meditation

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Gillian:

Let me tell you, because I've worked with a lot of women who are raising their kids and balancing the job, balancing the activities. We are not killing it, we are in survival mode.

Alyssa:

Welcome to Brilliant Ideas, the podcast that takes you behind the scenes of some of the most inspiring digital products created by solopreneurs just like you. I'm your host, alyssa, a digital product strategist who helps subject matter experts grow their business with online courses, memberships, coaching programs and eBooks. If you're a solopreneur with dreams of packaging your expertise into a profitable digital product, then this is the podcast for you. Expect honest conversations of how they started, the obstacles they overcame, lessons learned the hard way and who faced the same fears, doubts and challenges you're experiencing, from unexpected surprises to breakthrough moments and everything in between. Tune in, get inspired and let's spark your next big, brilliant idea.

Alyssa:

What if burnout isn't a sign that you're doing too much, but that you're doing too much of the wrong things? This week on Brilliant Ideas, I'm joined by Jillian. She helps ambitious women reclaim their time, energy and clarity by embracing the power of stillness. In this episode, she walks us through her time budget exercise an eye-opening approach to evaluating how you're spending your time versus how you want to spend it. If your calendar feels like a constant battle between productivity and peace, this framework might just change the way you operate If you're craving more alignment, less chaos and a business that fits into your life, not the other way around. This one's for you. Let's dive in.

Alyssa:

Welcome to the show, jillian. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me, alyssa. It's really great that you're here and I'm really excited because the two main themes of this conversation is going to be simplicity and stillness, both of which, I think, speaks volumes individually and relevant for the moms and dads who have a very busy life and they're also juggling the demands of their job or business. So I want to backtrack a bit before we get into those two themes. I want to know how did we get here, jillian, like? What inspired you to transition from being a health coach to now focusing primarily on stillness, and how has that journey shaped your approach to wellness?

Gillian:

Absolutely. I'm happy to share my journey. So my career started in education. I was in health and physical education and then I moved into theology. I was always interested in helping students, especially to understand how the mind-body-spirit is so important for building that foundation for health and wellness in their lives.

Gillian:

When I got into education, I felt like I was too boxed in, so I went for the certification in health. Coaching. Was too boxed in, so I went for the certification in health coaching and I just had huge inspiration. I wanted to do all the things. I wanted to help all the people with all of the elements that they were experiencing and I tried to go after all of it. I was inspired by the people around me. I was inspired by what other people were accomplishing through these different forums and I just went out and tried to do it all.

Gillian:

But you couldn't imagine what happened to me through that process. I also had four children and my husband was traveling quite a bit and I was trying to build this business and help other people and in the midst of it I actually lost my own health and wellness. And just recently actually last summer I had this massive crash. It was a nervous system crash, nervous system dysfunction that really came to a head and forced me to stop and really take a look at what I was doing, how I was living my life, how I was pursuing this dream of mine and how it was impacting me as a person. So that's what happened last summer. I was forced. It was like a wall was put up and the universe told me no more, you have to stop trying to help other people. You have to stop trying to do all the things. You need to be still within yourself first and start there.

Alyssa:

That's amazing. And so this crash that you experienced is it because you were overwhelmed with your four kids and the needs that your kids had, or like, what was it? You know it was a work, was it just a combination of everything? Or was it just your over? You may be like an overbooked lifestyle, like when you, you know, when you you go ahead and book all the things for your kids, like, for an example, you know I was I signed my daughter up for gymnastics and then I was like, oh, maybe I should do dance too. Oh, maybe you know it's not good enough, maybe she needs to learn how to skate.

Alyssa:

And so I have found myself even in this go go go mentality. And because I look online, I see other moms who are like killing it in this, in like motherhood, like they're doing all the things and they're the super superhero narrative that we've kind of created in this society. But I also realized that my personality is more of like I can't do all the things and then be and also take care of myself at the same time. It put those like unnecessary stress and like demands on like myself and it totally wore me out and like I somehow tell myself like this is okay, this is motherhood, this is what we do, but then the cycle continues.

Gillian:

Absolutely. I want to jump for joy and celebrate you, alyssa, because you are aware, just by saying what you said, that is what I help people with today. This is what I'm helping myself with to rebuild this foundation of awareness. Let me tell you, because I've worked with a lot of women who are raising their kids and balancing the job, balancing the activities. We are not killing it, we are in survival mode. There are some super women out there who just love it. It brings them joy to be living that busy life and to have their kids in all of these activities. But the majority of women are struggling because we have this expectation, or we believe there is this expectation, to do all of the things. But it is not true. There's so much to be said about taking a step back, understanding who you are as an individual, what your uniqueness is and what balance works for you and your family first. That should always be the main priority.

Alyssa:

I love what you said about survival mode, because I was in survival mode for a good like two years After my daughter turned two. I feel like, okay, I have this. But up until two years I felt like every day was just like all about you know my daughter and her life and taking care of her, and then you know my business it kind of took a backseat for a bit, even just now, and I'm just thinking to myself, like you know, my business it kind of took a backseat for a bit, even just now, and I'm just thinking to myself like you know, how do I go back to just enjoying the present moment without getting caught up in this idea that I have to be both at the same time, like I have to choose between my daughter and my business? And so, as a mother of four, what unique challenges have you faced with? Finding stillness Like, how have you kind of integrate this concept into your life and also into your coaching practice?

Gillian:

One thing that really started to become clear to me after I had that crash and burn and I was humbled. I took so much pride in. You know, we were living a simple life we don't overschedule our kids but it was still too much because of what I was taking on with work, all of those tiny little like. You know, as a mom, your daughter's still young, but as you get older, you have about 20 apps on your phone just to manage the communication between coaches and teachers and all of these people in their lives, right, who want to be communicating. And there's there's good intentions here, but it's all of those little micromanaging things that you're trying to balance. Add on entrepreneurship and all of the tiny little things that you need to micromanage to stay on top of things. What I had to learn is all of these things are necessary, but they all have their place, and what we can do better as a culture, I believe, and what I'm learning for myself, is creating these boundaries. There are times and spaces in our life where we go into that mode where we're checking the boxes and we're getting those to-do's done, but then we need to learn how to close the door and move into that space where we're resting, where we're taking those to-dos done. But then we need to learn how to close the door and move into that space where we're resting, where we're taking that moment to breathe, where we're taking that moment to calm our minds, remind ourselves that we are enough, that what our children need is our presence and our love. That is the most important thing. So it's really making that decision to move away from that fear-based mentality where more is better. And I have to keep up and look at what she's doing, look at what you know all of these people are accomplishing out there, moving away from fearing that you're not enough and moving back towards your heart and acknowledging that you are enough, just as you are being present in what our kids need most, what our partners need most. What we need most is to be present in that moment and to be calm and realize that that's where the magic happens. It's not pursuing, it's taking a step back and being present.

Gillian:

So one practical way that I do that and I work with my clients on this is something called a time budget. So basically, what I've done is I've it's. It's so old school, I love pen to paper because it makes makes sure that you're interacting with the activity right. It's not an app. It's a chart that you print out and it's breaking your day into 30 minute increments and before your week starts, you literally go through that chart and you put in the pillars of health and wellness first.

Gillian:

So you start with your morning routine.

Gillian:

What am I going to do from the beginning of the day to feed my soul so that I can be aligned with myself, I can feel like I'm in a place of peace and I can feel like I can give to the people around me during the day. That is what has changed my life since I had that crash and I used to teach this to other people, but I wasn't practicing it in my own life, I wasn't loving myself enough to create that space for myself. But ever since I started doing that and actually practicing it and doing that deep breathing, doing the meditation, taking that space to just be, to be still, which is what Soleil Health and Wellness means, that was the game changer for me and from that point, you can schedule in the movement that you're going to have during the day, your exercise, how you're going to nourish your body, how you're going to connect in real time with other people, and that's, I believe, where we need to start is creating that structure, that framework of the pillars of health and wellness, so that we can thrive.

Alyssa:

I really like that. I love the time budget exercise because it's something that you can do that doesn't take a lot of time. And even for me, like with my business, I like to make breakfast. That's like my go-to. I make an excellent breakfast for my daughter. It's the time that I have with her to just spend time without rushing to go, get to do a client call or do a client project. It's like from the hours of 7 to even 11, 12 o'clock. I'm just like that is my time to just be with my daughter, play with her. You know, do all the fun stuff, like the water table outside. It's just it feels so good to do that and so and so I like what you were saying about fear-based and how more is not necessarily better.

Alyssa:

And I've even struggled to come to terms with how overstimulated I am on a constant basis and you know being told, you know, do more, go on this trip, go to the zoo, go to African lion safari, and it's like, enjoy all these moments before they're fleeting. And you know for myself, like you're right, I do have a lot of awareness about these kinds of things because you know when someone says, you know to make time slow down and that's great, but it's like I am somebody that you know I am. I love I don't love being busy Like I love having time for myself and for my kids so that I can go to the park for a couple hours and not have to rush home because we have to get somewhere the other day, the next day or that evening. And so I do feel like when you are pulled in different directions whether it is your business or, you know, with your life, with your kids I feel like there's a lot of women who feel like they don't know kind of where to focus on first, like they're just kind of like I'm really a high ambitious woman who loves working on my business, but they're also want to be present with their kids as well, and so I've always struggled with this.

Alyssa:

I'm so torn between the two worlds and you know there's many online gurus who say, like you know, they say like well, you can blend them together, no problem, but I think it's a little bit more complicated than that. So how would you explain how your coaching and programs can help kind of the parents or even the moms who are in business themselves? How do they let go of that unnecessary stress and then focus on what matters at home and making sure that their needs are taken care of as well. And then what transformations have you seen in your own clients?

Gillian:

Thank you for asking that, alyssa, because this is this is my passion, this is my why for what I do, and the main why for what I do is my children, is my family. So it all ties back to that and I help people come back to that in their own lives. The first thing that I start with when I work with my clients is help them understand what their personal values are. That can sound kind of cheesy, but it's amazing how many people do not understand what they value. They may understand their programming, what they were told to value by their parents, by their friends, by our culture, but they don't truly understand what they as unique individuals value. When you help to peel back those layers of complexity and make those values super clear for people, they are motivated in a new way. So that is how I start my work with all of my clients and that is the foundation that we build on for every pillar of health that I walk them through. So, based on those values I'll go back to the time budget, because that's something we already spoke about that's a very practical exercise that we go through when we speak about the pillar of intention. I teach my clients that you need to live a life of intention or life will live you. You will be pulled, as you know, in a million different directions if you don't know what you value and you don't have an intention.

Gillian:

So we go back to that time budget chart and we literally block out the things that matter most first and I teach my clients to be very attentive to that schedule when they're working, they're working and focused. When it's family time, they are fully present for the family. When they want to just veg out and jump on their phone and scroll social media, there might be 15 minutes blocked out for that. They're not going to feel guilty about it. But when that 15 minutes is over, it's time to turn the phone off, read a book, prepare yourself for bed, get yourself into that zone.

Gillian:

So I help people to create these healthy boundaries throughout their day, their week, their month, so they have this framework for health and wellness. Because right now there's a lot of gray area. It all kind of like whooshes together. You know you're like responding to text messages about where you're going this weekend, while you're working, while you're nursing your baby. I mean, we're just doing too many things at once so we don't feel productive in any area at all and then we feel like we're failing in all areas because we're doing nothing well. So that time budget is a game changer for so many clients, especially moms who are juggling multiple schedules, because they are fully present in what they're doing in that moment in time and that's freedom on its own.

Alyssa:

I really love that. That's really great for parents to have like a framework to just go off of when they're kind of like reaching that breaking point, like they're not like there yet, but they're, they feel like they're, they're already. They need some support and they need to make a change. And so, with how complicated and stressful life is already, this can help kind of reduce that mental load, improve your energy levels. I mean how I would do it, because that is something that I think is so important to have to really focus on those health and wellness pillars and to lead with your personal values and your intentions. And you know, setting the intentions is really like the first step and it really sets you on the course of, you know, being really successful and maintaining it long term. And so where can my listeners connect with you online? Tell me about your, the program that you offer or programs.

Gillian:

Sure, sure. So my business is called Soleo Health and Wellness, and Soleo is the Latin word for be still. So this is something that's always stood out to me as important, but I haven't really been able to live it out until now. So now I'm singing it on the mountaintops, like soleo means be still, because it's so important. So you can find me at soleocoachingcom.

Gillian:

I'm also on Instagram. You can follow me there and if you'd love to reach out, I would love to offer your listeners, alyssa, a free session with me to work with me on that time budget. I will send them that time budget chart and they can connect with me, because I know how powerful it is just to get your life on track. And you can just contact me on my website. Go to the contact section, send a message to me there, let me know that you listened to the podcast and you'd like to take advantage of that opportunity, and I would just. I would love to get feedback for that time budget because it's been so powerful for for so many of my clients and I know that if I can help people build that foundation alone, that they are going to feel empowered to get their life back on track and build their life on their terms, based on their personal values.

Alyssa:

I love that Amazing Well. Thanks so much, jillian, and that is such a I think is so helpful for my listeners to even get that free session with you just to see what it's like to work with you and to see you know how they can start to make significant change in their life. And so thanks so much, jalene, for coming on the show today and sharing your real, raw and vulnerable stories, strategies and helpful insight with us today.

Gillian:

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me, Alyssa. This has been a wonderful opportunity to step away from the everyday and have this conversation with you.

Alyssa:

I know same here and for everyone listening. Thank you so much for tuning in. You're going to find all the links that Jillian will provide. They're all in the show notes, so make sure to check them out. If you did love this episode and it resonated with you, please message me on Instagram my handle is at AlyssaBelseriaOBM and share what you loved about it and what kind of questions you still have. Thanks again for listening and I'll see you next time on another brilliant idea. Thanks for tuning into this episode of Brilliant Ideas. If you love the show, be sure to leave a review and follow me on Instagram for even more insider tips and inspiration. Ready to bring your next big, brilliant idea to life? Visit AlyssaVelsercom for resources, guidance and everything you need to start creating something amazing.